Regaining Power

Throughout our lives various people have authority and power over us , parents . teachers, Coaches . group leaders, church ministers and maybe even friends. When we are young we need some level of authority in our lives to help teach us right from wrong and support us. With authority comes power. As we grow older we need to learn how to stop giving people in our lives so much power over us.  Some people use the power they have to hurt us. Seemingly hurt is an emotion and nobody else can b responsible for making us feel a certain way. We are responsible for our own feelings and emotions.  So if someone calls you a cow and you are hurt by it own the hurt. It's all good and well owning our own feelings and emotions but what can you do when you find a friend or family member is still causing you pain by the things they are doing or saying?

Ok, the easy option is to stop talking to them and cut them out of your life. But then you find that still doesn't work, they still manage to hurt you by what they do. So what next? You could just curl up in a ball or start engaging in behaviors that you wouldn't normally engage in just to try ease the pain. But there is no need to put yourself at risk of messing up your life. They are still living their lives and loving it so why should you stop living your life because of them? No, what you need to do is stop giving them power,  regain power over your own life!

How do I stop giving a person power over me I hear you ask. Recently I had a discussion with a very knowledgeable friend about this very question.  The key to not giving somebody enough power that you are hurt by their actions lies with you. You need to have confidence in yourself,  believe that you are a good person and don't let the opinions others have of you get in on you. I read somewhere once that's people's opinions of us is none of our business.  Everyone is entitled to their opinions but if you think about it people who judge others do so not because other people are bad but because their is a part of their lives/ themselves that they are unhappy with.  In psychology circles this is known as projection,  its easier for them to project than look at certain areas of their life. If the actions of another is causing you pain you need to make a conscious decision. Say to yourself often,  'okay,  x is going to happen or has happened,  yes im not happy about it but I'm deciding here and now that I'm not letting it hurt me, I'm re claiming the power over my life.' Stop letting the actions of others ruin your happiness.