Doubting Thomas

This morning as I opened Morning prayer on my phone I realized that today was the Feast of St Thomas. I instantly thought of doubting Thomas and that it wasn't a year since we had his Feast day..... then I remembered that it was currently July.

Last year I was really struck at Mass on the feast of St Thomas. I was struck to the point that I started questioning my faith and if it was real at all. I cannot remember if it was something said at the mass or just that growing up I knew St Thomas as Doubting Thomas. through the support of my religious friends and a bit of space I got over my own doubts. Twelve months on as we celebrate the Feast day of Doubting Thomas I wanted to take time to stop and reflect. this reflecting is done from a place of faith.

Thomas was a loyal following of Jesus when he was alive, an Apostle. However, when the Lord appeared to the others Thomas did not believe his brothers because he did not see it for himself. The Lord later appeared to the Apostles when Thomas was present. All the doubts that Thomas had were gone when he was able to see the holes in the Lord's hands made by the nails and placed his fingers in these holes and in the side of Christ, the side pierced by a sword. Instantly when he did this Thomas believed.

'You believe because you have seen me. Happy are those who have not seen and yet believe' (John 20:29).

Thomas believed only when he himself seen the Risen Lord. We have never seen the Risen Lord yet so many Christians believe. the first thing that springs to mind is have we seen him in our lifetime? Just because we have not physically seen the Risen Christ does not mean that we have not experienced his presence. Christ is with us through the actions of those around us, the good deeds done to us. Even the not so good things in life Christ is present. He is there influencing the path the ensuring that the right person is there for us at the right time.

Because we have not physically seen Christ it is easy to have doubts, just as Thomas did when his peers told him that they had seen Christ but he had not. Faith is believing not because we can always physically see it but we have a trust and on reflection we can see where Christ has been active in our lives and the lives of those around us. To have faith in something we cannot physically see is extremely hard. but through our relationship with Christ as Christians we can have this faith. It is okay to have doubts and ask questions. In times of doubting we don't tend to pray as much (well I don't anyhow) but this is when we need to reflect in order to see where the Lord has been. Also, when having doubts we need to turn to those we trust for support. just as we would when doubting ourselves.