Gospel Reflection Lk 22: 24-30

On Saturday I was struck by the Gospel for the second day in a row. Odd, I don't know if it was because of the place I was in or mearly the fact that in this place I had slowed down and the readings had more of a chance to speak to me. 

On Saturday we celebrated the Feast of St Gregory the Great. The Gospel reading was short but to me very powerful. In it, the disciples were arguing about which one of them was the greatest. Jesus put a question to them, He asked, who is the greater, the one at table or the one who serves?' The obvious answer is the one at table and while Jesus himself said this He pointed out that He was with them as one who serves. 

It does not matter if we are servant or King, in God's eyes we are equally important in the world. For me, that was the message of Saturday's Gospel. We are equally important we should treat one another with equal respect. 

Gospel Reflection LK 5: 33-39

At Mass today I was struck my the Gospel. Today’s Gospel asks Jesus the question of why his disciples do not fast while John’s disciples and the Pharisees do. The answer, the guests cannot be expected to fast while the bridegroom is present.

What really struck we about the Gospel today was ‘nobody puts new wine into old wine skins’. How often in life do we try something new in an old format or in a place as it used to be? Or how often do we change our behaviour around people only to be met with the old behaviour they displayed? In essence, unless all is new success is minimal. Perseverance is the key to change. In human relationships it is true that the only person we can change is ourselves. However, if we are constant with the change in us, walking away from arguments, not shouting or whatever the change may be, the person we are in relationship with will see that change in us and in time their behaviour will also change. If we are trying to introduce something new to a place we cannot physically change the place. Yes, physically we can change how a building looks but the essence of that building/ that place, will be as it was. To introduce something new to a place, a new idea, we must first embrace what was there before. Introducing the new into the old will not work. But if we acknowledge the old, give it a place in our minds then we can introduce the new. We put our own mark on the place for new to work. Our own mark is makes the place new so that new ideas in that place will work. Take the business which changes hands for an example, a new manager will want to do things there way, to change things up. But people who use the service liked how things were. The manager can decide to keep running the business as it was but with his stamp things will not be the same. People need time to grieve for how things used to be before they are able to accept that the places now offers something new and it is not the same. No two managers will run a business the same, especially if they are passionate about their work. By running a place the same as always there is no place for new. Yes, if Bob founded a business Bob will not be forgotten but now Michael runs the business and with that comes change, the new.    

Just Play

 I have worked with children in residential care since October 2021. Prior to that, I worked with a young adult who had autism and was non verbal. It was when I was working with this young man that I started to really think about the activity he chose to do especially in the art room. We lay out materials for him. We generally started with art materials. He was often slow to engage and we tried to further encourage him my doing some art ourselves. But maybe he was slow to engage because he did not want to do art. Who were we to dictate that the young lad start with art? After the art, the puzzles and clay came out. I let him choose what he wanted to do. As I sat back and watched to see which activity he picked I wondered why he picked the clay or the particular puzzle he decided to make. What was going on in the head of this lad? 

Children do not play just for the sake of playing. The child who wants to play Uno or a board game is looking for companionship. Little Tommy who plays with cars, yes he loves his cars but it is interesting to observe what he is doing with the cars. This can give great insight of what is going on for him and give an idea of what he is trying to process. He wants you to play care with him because he wants to spend time with you. Children can work through stuff through their play. They don't always need to talk in order to process and understand. Through play, they can make sense of what is going on for them. Children's brains are different than adults' brains so they process differently. It is our job as adults to facilitate safe spaces to play for children so that they can process the difficulties that they are having. Also, we need to be there for children during their playtime so that they can share and talk out stuff that they need help understanding. It is not our job to tell children how they are feeling. However, through play and art, we can help the child to explore their feelings, letting them name the feeling and support them to to work through it.  

Taking Care of Self

In the space of 24 hours, less, I went from this

Happy, feeling satisfied, to this

numb, low, and defeated. Amazing how a mood can change so quickly. I got up this morning ready for an appointment which included space after to take care of myself. But then I got a text to cancel the appointment. I was disappointed but I decided to still go to that place. My mood was low and I knew I needed time out for myself. I knew staying at home mopping around would achieve nothing. At the moment I am up to eyes with an assignment, the deadline is looming. The cancellation of the appointment meant that I could have used this time to work on the assignment. But I did not care. I needed to take time out. And maybe even by taking time out, I would be better able to focus on the assignment. 

So, off I went as soon as I was ready. When I got to my destination I delivered a book and went straight down to the wood. For a change, I decided to take the long route down to my tree. Something was processing in me and I needed to walk with that before I sat. On the tree, by the river, I sat. I felt I could have stayed there all day, it was so peaceful and calm. But after about half an hour I knew I had to move as I knew there was a chance that sitting would turn into wallowing. I got up and headed out of the forest. And I walked out of that forest with a sense of purpose and determination. I was more at ease having taken the time to just be still and present. An hour later I was smiling again, something I had not been able to do all morning. 

Moods can change so quickly. It is so important when we notice our moods dropping that we take time to do the things we know will help us. Whether that is taking time out, away from people, exercising, or connecting with a friend. Whatever we know will help we must do at these times. Trying to function as normal can be more damaging to us and the people around us than if we take that five minutes, that hour, that day, or however long we need to look after ourselves. Due to the responsibilities that we all have in life, it is not always possible to take time out straight away. But we should acknowledge how we are feeling and ensure to make time for ourselves as soon as possible. We are no good to others if we do not look after ourselves. Before we can be there for other people we first need to be there for ourselves.

Did I solve the world's problems today by taking time out for myself? Not even a bit. I did not figure out why my mood had dipped so much either. But I do feel clearer having taken time out, in a better place that the space is clear to process. Weekly I try to take time out in nature to just be. I did not do that last week and that might have contributed to the drop in mood. So, going forward I will be more conscious of taking time every week to be outside, walking and sitting in nature, just being present. 

Tending to a low mood is not always about figuring out why we feel so low. Sometimes simply taking time out is enough. The unconscious has a way of only giving us what we can handle. When we are able to deal with what is wrong the unconscious will make us aware of what that is.

Remember, acknowledge low moods and deal with them by taking time for yourself.

Bartimaeus

 As I read the Gospel for the 30th Sunday of Ordinary Time about the blind beggar Bartimaeus my mind instantly thought of Zacchaeus and how I had the pleasure of reading the story of Zacchaeus by the tree that he climbed to see Jesus in what is now known as the Holy Land. Not just did I read the story that day but I was asked to share my thoughts on it. I simply thought of this on Sunday as I started reading the Gospel because of the big name. Zacchaeus climbed a tree in order to try to get closer to Jesus. How often in life do we who believe in God try to get away from God? Personally, I must admit that I have often forgotten about God or I have thought of God and in my struggle said 'no'. For me that is why prayer time is so important to me, by regularly spending time in prayer I hope that it helps me to think of God in my everyday life more  and that I will be more inclined to turn to God in times of struggle. People say that things happen for a reason. Sometimes I have to sit and ask God why and what His plan is because I just don't understand the reason a particular thing is happening. I do not usually get an instant answer but I find it easier to accept and go with it. 

At Mass on Sunday Fr Tom asked us what we want from God. But a question that I feel is also important is, 'What does God want from us?' Are we living the lives that God truly wants us to live? At times I am not sure that I am and at times I do not actually care but then someone often steps in and snaps me out of that and I spend time with God and ask him if what i am doing truly is what he wants from me. 

Mental Health

 Last week at the Olympics an American athlete pulled out of some of her events after a poor performed performance. I know nothing about gymnastics so I do not actually know how badly performed. The athlete said that she was putting her mental health first. I did not follow this story, I just thought to myself, 'fair play to her'. However, an article late last week did catch my eye. This article criticised the athlete for not pushing on and competing. The article suggested that she was using her mental health as an excuse. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't, we cannot make that judgment call. The woman had her reasons and people should respect that.

I don't know the athlete concerned but I was so happy to see that she was putting her mental health before competing in the Olympics. She identified a problem and took the steps that she needed to help her to manage it. Nothing is more important in this world than our mental health. In society today there is great emphasis on reaching the highest standards, whether it is winning that race, that game, earning loads of money or getting employee of the month! What do people sacrifice by setting these high standards for themselves? How is it impacting on there mental health, relationships? If we do not prioritise our own mental health we will be no good to anybody, we will struggle to achieve things in our daily lives.

My advice is to take some time for yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed in life it is okay to say no to friends and family who are asking you to do something for them. When you know that there is an event coming up that you have committed to try to ensure in the days leading up that you are making that space for yourself and your self-care. And if you really have to pull out that is okay too. Nobody or nothing is more important in this world than you. Let me repeat that:

NOBODY OR NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT IN THIS WORLD THAN YOU!

So do not be ashamed or embarrassed to put yourself first, to ask for help.

Recovery

 As I was out on a small hike today I got the urge to pen a blog entry. I was going to write something on paper when I got back to where I was staying but decided to leave it till I got home and write directly online. 

So a couple of weeks ago I ended up with the doctor rather suddenly on a Thursday evening. This resulted in her signing me off work for just over a week. I had to return to her the next morning for bloods etc. She wasn't entirely sure what we were dealing with but treatment wise she went in very hard, there was a couple of possibilities that she needed to get in quick with treatment, waiting for results could have cost me. So she sent me off the Friday morning on three different tablets. Thankfully two of the tablets were once of meds and the third one didn't have any side effects. She kept an eye on me over the next few days and on the Monday evening she told me she wanted to see me by the end of the week to examine the area again. I went to her the Thursday morning, left on two antibiotics for two weeks, again she was going for the hard and fast approach as a precaution. From the results that were back an infection had been identified. Due to the symptoms I was presenting she suspected another problem also that needed to be treated in order to prevent lasting effects. She also extended the course of the other medication she had put me on. When I picked up my prescription I got a fright when I saw the amount I was on, something that got scarier when I thought of what I was already on for my asthma. So I made a call and she reassured me of the whys. 

I have had a hard couple of weeks, physically and emotionally. When I went to the doctor on the Thursday evening I certainly was not expecting this. Signing me off work was originally just for the Friday but then she extended it to all of the next week. She was treating the problem but I needed time to recuperate, physically and mentally, this certainly was a shock to the system. Physically I needed to be put on very strong painkillers the pain was that bad. And they worked. The pain started to settle on the Tuesday but lingered a couple more days. 

I was in the process of changing jobs. It saddened me that I was signed off for what was meant to be my last week in my former job, I didn't get to say goodbye to people, but I knew that I needed to look after my health. I did very little during that week, I wasn't able to. I did do some training for the new job, with it taking place via zoom I didn't have the stress of traveling. Boy George was I tired after though. The next week I still stayed fairly quiet as the energy wasn't great. I decided to head down to Glendalough towards the end of the week for a few days to try to aid my recovery, fresh air, and all that. 

When I am in Glendalough I usually do a good bit of walking. This visit was different. While I did get out every day I wasn't doing the distances or the heights that I have come used to doing. I had a bit of a climb today and I thought it was going to kill me. The thing is I wouldn't class that as a big height! It was pointed out to me after that I am on antibiotics, I cannot expect to be able to go at 100%. No wonder I was wrecked when I got back from my flat walk Friday. 

It was great to have the opportunity to get out into nature, to look at a different four walls than I had been stuck looking at for the previous two weeks. As I walked today I thought to myself, this is certainly helping my recovery, the space, the nature, the clean air, prayer, writting, no pressure. For me, this is the best way to recover, to be in a place surrounded by trees, water to sit by. Okay, maybe I didn't get to reach any mountain peaks but the body just needed to rest, digest and recover. I am so grateful to have such beauty around me, especially at times like this.