Grief

A few weeks ago I was talking to somebody about grief as I was in the thick of it having lost a good friend and my cousin. Something he said really stuck with me and I meant to write this sooner but just didn't have a chance. What he said I brushed off quickly and thanks to something a friend said to me shortly after I was further able to let go of what was said. I want to write about it though.

He said that when somebody dies we should be sad for a couple of days and then be filled with joy and happiness for them. On hearing this I wanted to just get out of there. He said it because the 2 people I had lost I did not see on a daily basis, I didn't even see them regularly. What he said got me thinking. I also thought back to October/ November 2012. The level of grief and sadness that we feel when someone dies is not determined by how often we saw them. How well we got on with them and how good they were to us in the time we knew them will help determine how sad we will be after they die. It doesn't matter that we might have only seen them once or twice a year. When we were with them it was a pleasure to be in their company, we were comfortable with them and could talk to them about anything. Also when we lose a relation there is that blood connection so again it does not matter if we saw them regularly we are bound to be saddened by their death. When someone dies something is gone from our lives. We think of the times we shared and  while these memories fill us with joy we are saddened by the thought that we will never be able to share moments like this with them again. We will miss hearing how they are getting on.

So when you lose somebody who meant something to you don't feel you have to explain why you are so sad. You have every right to be sad after you have lost somebody who was part of your life and good to you. Of course you will miss them and be sad, that is perfectly normal. Don't let anyone tell you any different and make sure to take all the time you need to grieve, Sometimes we won't realise how we will be hit by grief and sadness until somebody dies.